Jesus Brings His Disciples to a Conference
Weary after days of feeding thousands of hungry people, healing innumerable crowds filled with the sick and diseased, casting out multiplied legions of demons, with hours upon hours of teaching and preaching on the kingdom (with a side dish of nasty awesome rebukes for the Pharisees and Sadducees), Jesus takes His team to a quiet place on a mountain so they can all rest. After several hours of fervent and passionate prayer, He falls asleep as well, only to wake a couple of hours later before everyone else for more extended fellowship with His Father.
As the sun rises, the disciples slowly wake and begin to prepare for their journey ahead. They can hardly contain the excitement and anticipation they feel...their first conference to learn everything there is to be successful in ministry!
Peter: This is so exciting! I am ready to RECEIVE! Judas, did you get us registered? 🥳
Judas: C’mon bro...you can trust me. 🤥
John: Well, I registered myself and guess what? I even got an early bird discount! 😝
Thomas: This BETTER be worth my time! (Doubt it will be) 😒
James: Hey! Get out of those reserved seats! Me and my bro paid BIG money to sit in that section! 😡
Phillip: I brought eight special guests so I just KNOW I’m gonna win that door prize! 😬
Andrew: I totally know which breakout session I’m going to attend! Hey...I thought one of them was on prayer? Oh well! 😀
Bartholomew/Thaddeus: Are you serious?! Why does everyone forget to print out our name tags?! 😩😢
Matthew: Check out this pamphlet for their new coaching network! Trust me, I know the value of a dollar and we’d definitely get our moneys worth with this! 🤑
Simon the Zealot/James the Less: Why did they give us Bart and Thad’s name tags…AGAIN?! 🙄🤔
Jesus: Shh! It’s about to start! I can’t wait to hear what they’re going to say about Me and My church! 😞
DISCLAIMER:
I really hope you find the humor in some of this. I am absolutely NOT anti-conference, having hosted some, preached in many, and attended (and received from) more than I could ever possibly remember. I’ve also walked out of many, leaving long before they were supposed to end. I am also not against coaching, having close friends with an authentic and deep passion to help others and who are working hard to change lives and churches with their networks. Of course, sharks are everywhere also trying to manipulate, coerce, and pressure people into buying into the latest fad with sleazy and ungodly marketing schemes. By all means, go and attend as many conferences as you can, clothing yourselves with humility as you learn from all of the best concerning whatever it is you believe you need to learn.
But I don’t believe there is anything that could compare with what the disciples learned from the Master of ministry Himself. There are not too many breakout sessions today that could adequately articulate the school of suffering and brokenness necessary for true kingdom success.
To be continued next week; “The Ministry Workshops of Jesus”
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